Help For Pregnant Women - Maternal relationship with her unborn child is a paradox. Two bodies in one, one inside the other. Symbiotic relationship with the mother as the child's life force. Inevitably, the mother pulled into union with other beings, who really takes himself. It is a time of change, spiritual and physical. The mother's body will never again be the same as before. And will not mind. The "silver chain" that bind him to her baby would never break up.

This is the time when the fact and fantasy play together. As a woman's body to change to accommodate the new life, she imagined her son brought. When a child is born he had to let go of the fantasy baby. Real and tangible change.

The conception - real and symbolic changes

Circumstances of conception, of course, plays an important role in how women will enjoy the pregnancy. It may come as a surprise, or be the fulfillment of a childhood dream. It may feel like an invasion of its existence, or as a beautiful gift that fills the void sick. This is probably the first pregnancy, or extension of the family, the first pregnancy with a new partner, or "substitute" a baby after a miscarriage or loss previously. Maybe the sequel to "one night stand" or the result of rape. This may be due to miss-for fertility treatment.

The woman may have been planning a pregnancy, in an attempt to undo the past, or re-framing the future. He may have become pregnant to please others, or to beat the biological clock, or an attempt to repair the marriage relationship. Perhaps pure, creative impulse, or the results to feel "special". He may have a regular partner, or he may not. Whatever the background of pregnancy, the impact is very large, physical, psychological, social and spiritual.

New Body, New Self

No longer could he call his own; he is another curator, creator of a new life. Its existence has been taken over. Amazing and scary, limit liability with each passing day the freedom of choice. The baby was omni-present, which affects the biological and spiritual beings at every level - what he eats, his mind, his, all his activities ... A new identity in all respects.

And with a new identity, women themselves born again. New fear and anxiety triggered, many of them derived from the pre-verbal experience itself. And with this, inevitably, concerns about fetal well-being and perfection, and concerns about the birth experience, about doing it right, about being a good enough mother.

Emotional and physical, women changed as hormones and other body functions to adapt to the pressure of pregnancy. He may or may not be in good health, or have an "easy" pregnancy. Of course, he will feel tired, and often uncomfortable, and become what psychologists call "emotionally unstable", her mood swung from tears of laughter, of strong feelings and control for very needy and dependent.

As the baby grows, his body and change his appearance, even balance and different hair. He may have a good heralded the "light" of pregnancy, or he may not. Each trimester brings challenges and benefits characteristics, nausea, fatigue and emotion, feel the magic of the first flutterings life, stabbing discomfort in the ribs and woke up at night, slow, inevitable step toward recognizing a separate baby.

And the relationship changed, because she was joining the "in" group of women who have given birth. She and her partner are pregnant; they mature, must accommodate the new role. Their sex life will be different, and will continue to be so for some time after the baby is born. (It is quite possible that the sexual relationship would be "back to normal" six weeks after the baby is born, regardless of popular myth may take many months before the mother feels that her libido like that before,. New Dad may take a while before he felt comfortable with "parenting partner" it.)

Other women treat pregnant women differently. If he is the first of my friends to get pregnant, may isolate themselves to a certain extent. He entered a new level of relationship with her own parents, no longer just a, although adult, child / children. If the parents are dead or far away, it is likely that he will miss them very current. He is very vulnerable.


In a deep, subconscious level, it seems, the memory footprint woke primitive experience, it is often impossible to explain logically, and surface in dreams and memories incomplete. Awareness spiritual life force, from the beginning and the end of life, what we are in this world, of what the future holds, what religious beliefs and our philosophy tells us - all of this is triggered during pregnancy. And this reacts on us as we deal with other people in our daily lives, whether we are aware of it. Once again, our relationships with friends, partners and parents affected by our differentness.

Psychological problems tender touch: feelings about body image can resonate on grounds of experience eating disorders, for example. Primitive, infantile fears or memories left behind often reappear today. The needs of pregnant women, more than ever, feel safe and secure and supported by those around him.

He would have dreams about this baby, imagining how it would look, what talent it would have, worry, maybe about the possibility that it will not be perfect. More than anything, she would want to be the best mother in the world. To do it right. Even at this stage, the fear of making mistakes and guilt result will probably haunt pregnant women. No wonder she felt fragile at times. No matter how happy she is pregnant, she will also be afraid: it's part of the paradox.

Case History:

For 90% of women, pregnancy is a time of hope hope, joy, and preparation for the birth of a new member of the family.

"When I found out I was pregnant then, I just could not believe it. From the time I was a kid, all I wanted was my own baby. While my friends scrapbooks assembly horse, gymnast and Princess Diana, I collect photos of babies . I love my husband. We have a beautiful home, enough money. We are ready to have a family.

I expect the dreaded morning sickness, and it did not come. Only at night, when I was preparing dinner, I sometimes feel a touch of nausea. In addition, I felt fine physically, but to feel tired a lot of time. Why, then, was I not happy? Why do I wake up in the wee small hours, stiff with panic? Why do I feel scared and upset when my husband called to say he had to work late at the office? Or did stop for a short visit to his mother? Or go, as usual, to play golf on Sunday morning? Why, after so many years without him, I miss my mom? (He died when I was fifteen, after, long painful illness.)

"It's just my hormones. I do not have to feel like this. I have to normal. I feel very ashamed .... Better not tell anyone".

I lost my appetite, but the baby grows. I worry that my gynecologist did not get quite heavy. I was still tired, but could not sleep. I lay awake, worried that the baby might have something wrong with it; that my husband would leave me; that he had an affair; that he does not love me, now I lost my figure. He can do anything right, no matter how he tried to please me. I was angry, and pulled, and feeling low, low, low.

I know that it's not meant to feel like this. Why am I being punished? I pray, but no one heard me. I went through the motions of doing what I need to do. I feel like a robot. And I cried. I cried for myself, and for my baby. Poor little baby. It does not deserve a mother like me. "

What are the facts?

It is estimated that at least one out of ten women victims of ante-natal, ante partum or depression. If depression during pregnancy is very common, why not talk about? Popular view, as we all know, is that it is time for the fulfillment of a woman, the preparation for the "happy event". And so for many of us; but for the unfortunate one-in-ten, it could be one of the most disappointing experiences of his life.

Who is vulnerable to ante-natal depression?

Opinions were divided, but it seems that many factors interact.
  • Unplanned pregnancy obviously full of potential difficulties. The timing may be wrong; Women may be at a critical point in his career.
  • This couple may not make a permanent long-term commitment, to each other.
  • The woman may feel too young, or too old, to start a family.
  • Pregnancy may be too fast in a marriage, or too late.
  • Pregnancy may be the result of unwanted sexual intercourse, even rape.
  • The woman may feel acute ambivalent about whether or not she wants a baby. He may have agreed to become pregnant as a result of pressure from other people.
  • The woman probably was not happy with the feeling of being out of control her life, now that she is pregnant.
  • Physical and emotional stress and complications during pregnancy, such as poor health, multiple pregnancy, disease, can cause trouble.
  • Previous or concurrent called "negative life events", such as death, miscarriage, termination or miscarriage will tend to have an impact on the emotional well-being of women.
  • Factors socio-economic, such as financial stress, threat, or actual, unemployment, inadequate housing clearly affect the state of mind of pregnant women.
  • Lack of emotional support from others, especially the father of the baby, and the woman's biological family 'will add to its current vulnerability.
  • A history of depression, psychological problems, eating disorders, or harassment.

What have to do?
  • Stay close to the people who are supportive, sensitive and critical.
  • Keep communication open and friendly with your partner - if needs be, have some marriage / couples counseling.
  • Informed well.
  • Know that even the best birth plan may not come to fruition; that it does not mean you are a failure if things work differently.
  • Try not to make major changes in your life at this time - the baby will be quite a challenge. Do not move house, get a new pet, doing major renovations, etc.
  • If you feel very anxious or depressed most of the time, do not just tell yourself that he would go, even though it may be. Talking to someone about it: your gynecologist, childbirth educator, GP, your spouse, mother or a trusted friend. We also can help you - PNDSA. (The Postnatal Depression Support Association).
  • Know that 1 in 10 pregnant women suffer from Ante-natal depression. It is not his fault.
  • Know that interventions for Ante-natal depression will help avoid the debilitating, long-lasting negative effects of Postnatal Depression, which would have a negative impact on the woman, her partner and her baby.


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